We don't impose or apply undue pressure. We do work with you to make sure the day's right.

Grief is a shocking and bewildering experience and not something to be ‘got over’ in a matter of weeks or months. Grief is a long and individual process, and no two people ever experience it in the same way.

There is no pressure on you to feel fine. This is time to concentrate on being strong for you and not just for the people surrounding you who have their own grief to deal with.

Grief itself isn’t an illness. It’s normal for a bereaved person not to feel normal.

You will frequently become sad, relieved, angry, forgetful, calm, bad-tempered, cheerful, despairing, anxious and exhausted… possibly all on the same day. Don’t worry.

If you have major despairs and grief, do talk to someone, whether it’s a relative, friend, your G.P. or a member of the clergy.

If it helps to talk to someone, we can put you in touch with Cruise (an entirely voluntary organisation set up to help people come to terms with their bereavement and new life ahead), or simply you may wish to visit the excellent website, Griefjourney.com by the world renowned Dr Bill Webster, which also includes DVD’s and books that can be purchased.

It is important to remember that there are people out there to help you – you’re not on your own.

How you respond to a death will be very individual and personal. These are some of the things people often say when someone dies. They may help you to feel that you are not completely alone, or to understand what someone you know is going through.

'I can't believe it'

It may take a long time to grasp what has happened. Some people carry on as if nothing has happened. It is hard to believe that someone is not coming back

'I feel nothing'

'Why did it have to happen'

'I feel such pain'

'I go over it over and over again'

'If only'

'I feel so depressed, life has no meaning, I can't go on'

'I hear and see them, what is wrong with me?'

'They said I'd be over it in a few months'

'One minute I'm angry and the next minute I can't stop crying'